LargerHatchet (Unrated Director's Cut)
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Release Date: 2007-12-18
Average Customer Rating: 3.0
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80s my A$$
Like (almost) everyone else, I was *sold* on the idea that with Hatchet, we would be given a truly honest throwback to the classic years of Slasher films.
NOT!
I had even signed on with the Hatchet - brigade - or whatever it was called before the film came out...
I would go so far as to demand that these Filmmakers ask those Legends of Slasher films for an apology for using their (films) memory as a marketing ploy - because if you didn't grow up on 80s Horror and you think Hatchet is it, you're sadly mistaken. It was never about the funny, and that's all this film tries to be: about the funny.
There's nothing good about this film - not even the breasts!
Extreme Grossness!
One of the grossest movies ever made. Script was stupid, as was the story line. The acting was really bad, but the special effects were pretty awesome and really gross. It's one of the top 10 grossest films ever made. Just make your way through the absurdity of the rest of the film, and you'll really enjoy the gory, gross parts.The Lowest Common Denominator
From a guy who loves horror flicks that have perverse and even schlock humor infused into them, I have to say that HATCHET goes way beyond camp into utter stupidity. For those of you looking for a cool Evil Dead 2-esque take on the slasher genre, you will be extremely disappointed with this hack job of a film. Hatchet goes something like this: After a painfully long and dull setup, teens get trapped in the bayou and stalked by an invincible burn victim. One gets killed, and they run to another part of the bayou and bicker. Then the maniac shows up again, kills one of them, and they run another 100 yards (somehow shaking the guy off their trail). Repeat. It all gets so repetitive that I soon wished the killer would be a little more efficient in doing his work. In my opinion, Hatchet replaces Slumber Party Massacre 3 as being the worst slasher movie ever made. I am quite sure that watching it actually destroyed brain cells.
For an awesome slasher movie that's got campy laughs, I encourage you to revisit some of the 80's yarns like SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT ("Punish!") or FRIDAY THE 13th PART 6 "Jason Lives" (Jason get reanimated by a bolt of lightning).Great first outing!
This was a great start for Adam Green. Sure some of the acting was flat. But, the script had a "real" feel to it. The gore was great. Didn't use stupid CGI blood. Hatchet has a lousy swing
Hatchet producers got one thing right: put plenty of female nudity into a horror film. Check. Other than that, the film flops on every level. Badly written, horrible art production, an ineffective idea to make a horror film a comedy...it's not the kind of classic old school horror film I grew up loving. I need a heart stopping scary character, girl-next-door female B-actresses who take their clothes off, good dialogue, and at least a decent set of movie-making skills to make the production watchable and enjoyable. This film didn't have 9 out of 10 of the required elements.Product Description
Studio: Starz/sphe Release Date: 09/30/2008 Run time: 84 minutes Rating: UrAmazon.com
Adam Green's Hatchet is a goofy, gory gas that pays tribute to the slasher boom of the 1980s by placing more hapless teens in the path of an indestructible maniac. Said killer is Victor Crowley (Kane Hodder, Jason in many of the later Friday the 13th entries), a deformed Louisiana swamp dweller who returns from an apparent fiery death to lay waste to a mixed bag of tourists and Mardi Gras revelers who've wandered into his turf on a "haunted swamp" tour. Hatchet doesn't exactly surpass the movies it's spoofing; Green's characters are dopey ciphers, and Crowley's indiscriminate killing spree negates his sympathetic origins. But the dialogue is glib and the performances funny (especially Parry Shen as the tour's unlikely guide and Joel David Moore as the lovelorn hero), and '80s horror aficionados will appreciate John Carl Buechler's outrageously gross effects (which get more screen time in this unrated cut). There are also cameos by genre vets Robert Englund and Tony Todd, as well as Joshua Leonard from The Blair Witch Project. The widescreen DVD includes commentary by Green and several of his players, as well as featurettes on the making of the film, its villain and his elaborate makeup, and a scene breakdown of one of the film's most jaw-dropping effects. A gag reel and a conversation between Green and Twisted Sister frontman and horror fan Dee Snider rounds out the commentary. -- Paul Gaita
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