what did the pimp use to put out the fire?

His hos!

what's the state flower of West Virginia?

A satellite dish.

a blonde gets lost in her car in a snowstorm. she remembers her father's advice, "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Soon a snow plow comes by, and she follows it for about 45 minutes.

Finally, the driver of the truck gets out and asks her what she is doing. She explains the advice her father had given her. The driver says, "Well, I'm done with the parking lot here at the mall, now you can follow me over to the bank."

a blonde wanted to go ice fishing, so after getting all of the right tools, she headed toward the nearest frozen lake. after getting comfy on her stool she started to cut a circular hole in the ice. then from the heavens a voice boomed, ''there are no fish under the ice.''

Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of hot chocolate and started to cut yet another hole in the ice. The voice boomed, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.''

This time quite scared, the blonde moved to the far end of the ice. Then she started another hole and once again the voice said, ''THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.''

The very scared blonde raised her head and said, ''Is that you, Lord?'' The voice answered, ''NO. IT IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK.''

what's the difference between a wife and a job?

After ten years the job still sucks!

yo' Mama is so fat, she broke the family tree.

q: what do you call a dog with no hind legs and metal balls?

A: Sparky!

q: how do you know you can't trust doctors and lawyers?

A: Because they both "practice" their professions.

how do you know if a dummy has been sending e-mail?

You see a bunch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.

where would you learn how to make ice cream?

At Sundae school.